Smurfs on Marx

The Smurfs are, it appears, a bunch of commies.


From Are the Smurfs Closet Communists?
By Kristen M. Sonntag, Esq.

'Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto is an excellent source of supporting evidence for my "Commie Smurf" theory, although Das Kapital remains a far more entertaining bathroom book. Now, I know it can be difficult to differentiate between the philosophies of communism and socialism, for they often go hand in hand. However, we must take care not to confuse the Smurfs with the wretched victims of Stalinism, or a lumpen-proletariat attempting to overthrow the bourgeoisie through class warfare, and please perish the thought of the sickle and hammer as a Smurf icon. Rather, think of communism as a way of life, a social arrangement, if you will. Let's begin with the word "communist." What epistemological root word stands out? "Commune." The Smurfs live together in a small communal village, occasionally retiring to their mushroom huts; no Smurf ever leaves, and no new ones ever arrive. The Smurf village is an independent city-state of sorts, and every citizen is fiercely devoted to preserving the harmony of the entire community. In the Manifesto, Marx says, "In this sense the theory of the Communists may be summed up in a simple sentence: Abolition of private property." Well, all Smurf lands and territories belonged to all of the Smurfs, and there was no way in Hell that any single Smurf could even think of getting away with claiming a plot of land for himself or his own personal benefit or profit.'