Laughing at Libertarianism

Dale, who's been waging his own private war on the Net against libertarians, pointed out the Non-Libertarian FAQ, which is pretty funny. I find libertarians to be both absurd and horrifying in equal measure. On another part of the site, there's Libertarianism in One Lesson, of which I will now kindly provide a sample for your reading pleasure:

Introduction

One of the most attractive features of libertarianism is that it is basically a very simple ideology. Maybe even simpler than Marxism, since you don't have to learn foreign words like "proletariat".

This brief outline will give you most of the tools you need to hit the ground running as a freshly indoctrinated libertarian ideologue. Go forth and proselytize!

# Philosophy

* In the beginning, man dwelt in a state of Nature, until the serpent Government tempted man into Initial Coercion.

* Government is the Great Satan. All Evil comes from Government, and all Good from the Market, according to the Ayatollah Rand.

* We must worship the Horatio Alger fantasy that the meritorious few will just happen to have the lucky breaks that make them rich. Libertarians happen to be the meritorious few by ideological correctness. The rest can go hang.

* Government cannot own things because only individuals can own things. Except for corporations, partnerships, joint ownership, marriage, and anything else we except but government.

* Parrot these arguments, and you too will be a singular, creative, reasoning individualist.

* Parents cannot choose a government for their children any more than they can choose language, residence, school, or religion.

* Taxation is theft because we have a right to squat in the US and benefit from defense, infrastructure, police, courts, etc. without obligation.